Last week I wrote about the lost art of being a lady and what it is to be feminine. You can check out that article here. I only received one unsubscribe...so, perhaps this topic is more popular than I thought!
One of my own challenges with femininity is being receptive; that is, waiting for things to unfold.
In fact, that principle is the polar opposite from how I was raised, and how I believed things would work in my life.
My dynamic was getting into action. While in many ways it served (and can still serve) me well. There is no doubt it took a toll.
I was a pull myself up by my bootstraps kinda gal, and if there was anything that either needed to be done (or, I PERCEIVED needed to be done) I would be sure to prompt it, remind it, organize it, remind it again, end up doing it…and then here’s the kicker. Resent it!
It’s funny now, but it was oh so painful!
If you’ve been there, or are there now, let me assure you; it’s not a life sentence.
While therapy, spirituality and a general commitment to being different are all useful tools. Sometimes I just need a few specific tricks to get me through NOW.
These are my top three and they are yours for the taking…
1. Remember that deciding to do nothing IS a decision. Procrastination, avoidance and withholding are rather passive approaches to life, and in many ways can be irresponsible. But, if you look at a situation, and actually make a decision to do nothing, it can be very empowering.
2. While you are doing “nothing,” do SOMETHING. Sometimes “letting things be” is a game of distraction. If someone has upset you and you feel compelled to give them a piece of your mind, or if you’re in a relationship you keep wanting to end, or there’s a trip you’re not sure you want to take; you may want to give yourself a task that you will accomplish in full first.
It may be a class, a book, walking the dog, cleaning out your closet or storage, painting a wall, getting a massage, praying about it for 30 days morning and night, a phone call to a trusted friend.
The point is; don’t create a vacuum of nothingness. Consider, instead replacing it with an activity that creates the space to make the obvious choice. And, my friend, in my experience, when it’s time to make a decision…it’s obvious.
The beauty is; more often than not things resolve themselves!
3. Ask yourself, would what I’m about to do or say be helpful? It’s a blessing to have the freedoms we do and the ability to speak our mind. However, just because we can, doesn’t mean it’s the healthiest course.
You may have every right to proclaim yourself or your opinion. But, would it be helpful; to you, your spirit and the person you want to be, to the other party, or to the relationship?
This simple question stops me dead in my tracks more than any other. It is amazing how often my need to do or say something simply wouldn’t do much good.
I suppose it’s similar to the old adage, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
I’ve chosen happiness, and I am so pleased that you are walking this path with me!
Which of my three tips resonates the most with you? I’m curious to hear, and I’m especially excited to hear about your victories in letting things unfold.
Magic awaits. I promise.
In the meantime, have a beautiful day and remember that I am most definitely in your corner…