Last weekend was rough. Then a miracle happened…
Let me preface this by saying there are few things that cause me to grow more than relationships. In fact, it seems that’s what they’re often intended for.
The details aren’t as important as noticing my reaction to them.
A man I’m dating (I’ll not share his name to protect the innocent) behaved badly… at least from my perspective at the time.
I desire to be kind, well-humored, patient, loving, curious, compassionate, soft and receptive. These are traits I value and qualities that, over time, are mostly who I am.
YET, my man hurt my feelings and instead of responding with any of the above I felt annoyed, angry and stressed. The good news is (because it’s always good to mark your growth) I didn’t express my extreme reaction to him.
The not so good news (because telling the truth about yourself is the touchstone to happiness) is that I was consumed with the abandonment I was feeling and the outrage at his behavior.
What he did doesn’t matter, but suffice it to say that my internal reaction was MUCH bigger than what went down.
In the middle of all this I was having problems with my latest iPhone. Argh! The only solution was to erase it completely and sync it with the version from two days prior. Reluctantly I did the deed.
Now… here’s the miracle. Once the sync was complete I looked at my phone and discovered that all my texts from the past two days were gone… the most recent text showing was between me and my guy before I got my feelings hurt.
In that split second I had an emotional reset.
Going back to the version of my phone from two days earlier took me back to happiness, good feelings and anticipation. For a moment, it was as if everything was ok.
And, that was just enough space to realize that everything WAS ok!
It’s often said how powerful your minds is. In fact one of my favorite Lincoln quotes is “people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
I do believe this, YET, sometimes old ideas, old hurts, old insecurities can take over and we forget who we are.
The kind, loving, soft, compassionate, curious woman that I am, seemed to have taken leave without permission. And in her place was an earlier, under developed version of me.
The good news is, the reverse works, too! When you’re feeling the weight of challenges and feel as if you have no defense, you can do a RESET to the version you want to be.
Perhaps looking at photos that reconnect you with the overall goodness in your life. Maybe deleting some emails or texts that are zapping your joy, is the answer. Or, perhaps it’s as simple as making up your mind to re-set to an earlier more content version of yourself.
I’m not suggesting you become a victim of harmful actions or attitudes from others.
But, remember in many cases a simple reset will restore not only your sanity, but be fertile ground for deeper joy and connection with others.
Whatever works for you is what I support. Please let me know how your week is going. Could you use a reset?
I look forward to hearing from you and remember that I am most definitely in your corner…