Are life’s challenges making you Bitter or Better?


Are you afraid you’re going to go out of business? Are you fearful that a relationship will end or that a dream you have will die?

My personal answer to all of these – at one time or another – has been: YES!

But there is a way I’ve found that allows for a fresh alternative…

When in doubt do nothing.

Honestly, that sort of thinking goes against every instinct of my early years. There was a time that if I was ever in doubt, or afraid or scared about how I was going to survive, I needed to get into action. I needed to DO something. ANYTHING but just sit there.

Yet, what I’ve learned, is that “just sitting there” can be the most powerful action I can take.

Recently in my business I had some serious issues develop around rising costs, diminishing margins, lack of communication and what direction I wanted my company to go.

Simultaneously I also had anxiety about the direction a relationship was taking, or rather NOT taking.

After a week of stress spent racking my brain for understanding and solutions I finally remembered to return to the embrace of ‘doing nothing.”

To be clear, this is different than avoidance. This is NOT ignoring problems, nor a knee-jerk firing of people or pushing away loved ones. This is an ACTIVE decision to make no decisions while remaining open to unknown possibilities.

I call it percolating. That is; let all you think you know, and all you don’t know slowly combine until a solution is OBVIOUS.

I’ll warn you this can be uncomfortable. It may require you to take an honest look at your habitual patterns of acting and reacting. But, if you’re willing, pushing through can be transformative.

Have you had percolated coffee lately? The beauty of it is that it generally isn’t bitter. And once it’s ready (although it can take longer than other brews) it stays hot and fresh in the pot, instead of simmering down into a gooey undrinkable potion.

Percolating: YES
Simmering: NO

If you are stuck in a rolling simmer of all that has gone wrong, can go wrong, what should they do, or, what can you do... the results can be toxic and irreparable.

Give yourself and the situation the space to unfold. This means, don’t force solutions. Stay open to the idea that you DON’T know and see what presents itself. And, in the meantime, be kind to yourself and others.

In your lifetime – if you are lucky – you will experience many improved versions of yourself. All you need to do is leave room for her to appear… and, she may just be happier and more peaceful than you ever imagined you could be.

I am forever in your corner.

With love,

photo credit: Joost Nelissen via photopin cc

p.s. Curious about switching to percolator coffee? Check ’em out HERE.

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