Burning bridges makes things certain.
At least that is the need it seems to fill. Certainty.
I like to stay away from qualifiers such as good and bad, right and wrong in my life’s journey, so let’s stick with how we “feel.”
If you’re anything like I am, you’ve had a time, or perhaps are still in a time, where you’d rather “know” the outcome (even if it doesn’t feel good) than “not know” and have things unfold in a positive way at some point in the future that you do not determine.
You want to “get it over with” so you can move on.
I understand the sense in this. You don’t want to be drained by negativity. You want to find a better job, a better mate, a better way of doing things. And, you believe you must be rid of the past, or the present downer to do so.
There is, however, a massive difference between moving away from and moving towards.
When you move away from something that you don’t want, that tends to be the energy you carry forward. And, guess what?! What you don’t want shows up again!
When you move toward what you do want, there is a creative openness to what can develop and, in turn, the sky is the limit.
Last year I was dating a funny, handsome and kind man. His Achilles heel, however, was that he couldn’t make and keep a plan with any regularity. Clearly, I didn’t want that. And, while there was a lot of good to him, I moved on.
All the while I was very clear… I don’t want to go out with men who can’t make a plan or are unavailable. And, guess what? More men kept showing up, and all of them had a lot going for them, except their availability.
I believe that my focus on “not wanting” a flaky man snowballed into a magnet for exactly what I wanted to avoid.
Fortunately, I had an a‑ha moment and have been practicing not only focusing on the positive things I do want in a mate, but in life overall. And, as time has progressed, I can even envision it without the creeper of doubt.
It’s true that going from doubt and cynicism to confidence and certainty is a huge leap. So, I encourage you to take baby steps. Identify in between feelings that nudge you closer to a perspective and outlook on life that matches where you want to be.
I’ve been practicing this new approach and a crazy thing has happened….
My finances are flourishing, my health is as good as it’s ever been, my fitness is improving and that man from a year ago…? He showed up again wanting to try again with a fresh availability.
It’s amazing what can happen when you become willing to move toward your life, instead of moving away from it!
So put those matches of what you don’t want away, and walk across the bridge to all your possibilities.
I hope this was helpful for you and look forward to hearing where you’re at and where your attention is focused.
Can I help? Please comment and let’s connect.
In the meantime, I am most definitely in your corner…